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# 🫡 The Corps that Made Me
- URL: https://www.3dproductivity.com/the-corps-that-made-me/
- Published: 2026-11-11T04:10:27.000Z
- Updated: 2026-11-11T04:10:27.000Z
- Description: Military service made me who I am, for better and for worse.
- Author: Ryan Pavel
- Tags: identity, veterans, service, disability, #animated

![🫡 The Corps that Made Me](https://storage.ghost.io/c/eb/a8/eba88b61-e329-4b74-bd45-92d27436c6e0/content/images/2026/11/corps-that-made-me-52ee867d.svg)

The Marine Corps, which turns 251 today, changed me in seemingly infinite ways. I found myself reflecting on its enduring impact on who I am and how I show up in this world.

At 17, I was apathetic. I lacked direction and motivation. I was rejected from the college I wanted to go to, and rightly so. And then the recruiter called…

At 18, I “celebrated” my birthday in boot camp. I quickly discovered that if you didn't have motivation, drill instructors were exceptionally ready to yell it into you. I started formulating a sense of purpose and a bond with this storied institution.

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/eb/a8/eba88b61-e329-4b74-bd45-92d27436c6e0/content/images/2026/11/Photo-Nov-10-2026--10-26-24-AM.jpg)

I turned 20 on my first Iraq deployment and 21 on my second. The Corps really knows how to celebrate a guy.

Those deployments showed me what leadership looks like. I had some of the most effective and least effective leaders, and I observed and learned from all of it. Actions have consequences, I saw.

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/eb/a8/eba88b61-e329-4b74-bd45-92d27436c6e0/content/images/2026/11/1070087_10152349448046155_900927662_n.jpg)

Those deployments taught me what it's like to spend hour after hour after hour dedicated to a specific mission with teams small and large. I learned from everyone I engaged with and my worldview and perspective grew immensely.

And as I returned from deployment and prepared to separate, I started really confronting what I now identify as [an unceasing cognitive dissonance](https://www.3dproductivity.com/if-my-kids-ask-about-joining-the-military/), where my pride of service isn't diminished even as I challenge and question many of the things I was a part of. I find that nearly every veteran has some dose of this dissonance, if they are honest with themselves. It's part of what makes us well-positioned to excel as leaders after service.

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/eb/a8/eba88b61-e329-4b74-bd45-92d27436c6e0/content/images/2026/11/06CEEA10-C3AB-474F-BAC0-C0F129575430.jpeg)

I turned 22 in college, unexpectedly yet immediately finding a deep bond with fellow student veterans. We drank and processed. We helped each other. We tried to figure out how to show up in a civilian world when so much of our identity was shaped by the military.

I found a thesis advisor and dove in deep on transitional justice in Iraq, processing from the safety of the classroom the things I had been a part of while in the country. I went to some dark places, I'll admit, and I learned how community gets you through.

The Marine Corps instilled in me [an unshakable desire to serve](https://www.3dproductivity.com/the-flower-and-flame-of-memorial-day/), and so I joined [Teach For America](https://www.teachforamerica.org/?ref=3dproductivity.com) and taught high school in Detroit for two years upon graduation. I learned in that ridiculously challenging environment just how much resilience I had, thanks almost entirely to the Corps.

At 26, law school. Those in-depth and absurd conversations on deployment helped me appreciate wildly diverse perspectives, and it turns out that this is an asset in law school. I found my footing as a student. I volunteered to help veterans with discharge upgrades and disability appeals.

I learned, I grew, and I reflected on how 17-year-old Ryan would never have made it this far without that beloved Corps.

And at 27, right before the final year of law school, I learned that [the Corps had broken me](https://www.3dproductivity.com/presumption-of-guilt-my-disabled-journey/). Slowly and then all at once, I lost my ability to type. My tendons and joints flared through my core and into my legs and feet. Pain with any type of movement, especially that which requires fine motor skills. I started a years-long journey of figuring out what was wrong and how I could recover, the best theory being that I was exposed to something toxic and developed [chronic multisymptom illness](https://www.va.gov/disability/eligibility/hazardous-materials-exposure/gulf-war-illness-southwest-asia/?ref=3dproductivity.com). I learned that the VA has some world class doctors, and I learned what relief felt like when my neurologist found the right treatments.

In a very real sense, the Marine Corps broke me, and yet my pride didn't waver.

At 30, I was asked to serve as CEO of [Warrior-Scholar Project](https://www.3dproductivity.com/saying-yes/). I have never felt like such an imposter, yet I knew this was my path. I had never felt so inadequate, yet I knew I could rely on others to offset the things I didn't bring to the table. I trusted that the resiliency and leadership experience from the Corps would guide me. It has.

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/eb/a8/eba88b61-e329-4b74-bd45-92d27436c6e0/content/images/2026/11/WSP_MIT_6_24-157.jpg)

And now, at 39, I've had countless conversations with fellow veterans, doing my level best to help provide the guidance they need to thrive in that troublesome transition out of service. As I talk with them, I have interrogated my cognitive dissonance, poking at it to see if the moral injury is still there, just as the physical disabilities are. I have found and helped build community that gets us all through.

So much more could be said, but I think I’ve said enough. I am self-conscious to share so much focus on *me* in this post, but I share it to help others see how my relationship with the Corps has influenced who I am at every stage.

The Corps changed me. I wouldn’t take back my service for anything, and I will unashamedly get teary-eyed when I belt the hymn with my fellow jarheads at a birthday celebration.

Faithfully Yours,

—Rye